As Ingold said, ‘in the story, as in life, there is always somewhere further to go’ (Ingold, 2016, p. 93).
I would love to somehow digitize my work and turn it into a zine or pamphlet, akin to those I admire so much (Unseen, Rachel Poulton/Justin Hopper, Louisa Albani, Rob St John, In a Land etc). I shall endeavour to find out more about this process as I think this could potentially be an option for exhibiting my work later on.
I need to read more.
Gould has taught me that the desire to be adored as a child by teachers and parents can form the ideas the self is based on (Gould, 1979). Criticism of children can be so consequential. Mezirow explains that ‘meaning perspectives are, for the most part, uncritically acquired in childhood…often in the context of an emotionally charged relationship with parents, teachers or other mentors’ (Mezirow et al, 1990, p. 3). Feedback that I received at school certainly impacted how I feel about myself as an artist or as someone capable of making art worth valuing (echoes of Belenky also and the theory of basing the self on what others think, moving away from this towards orchestrating own ideas). I will take away many things that I have learnt, it will transform my teaching practice too. I am now deeply aware of the notion that what is said to a child by an adult whose opinion they trust, will cement their thoughts and feelings about who they are. One thoughtless criticism could leave a child thinking they are bad at art and switch off their potential for creative expression for good. This is monumental. I will: be a positive role model, create a safe environment in which risk taking and experimentation is encouraged and modelled, choose language of assessment carefully and refresh the assessment policy accordingly, offer CPD for colleagues so they do this too and also to allow them to feel more creatively confident and, ultimately, I would like to be involved in the Primary PGCE and mentoring ECTs so that I can have an impact on how they teach future generations of potential artists.
There are two short courses I would like to take, should finances and time allow: Found and Ground/Caroline Ross’s pigment making course and the OU Psychogeography course.
I am due to attend a conference on walking as art later on in the autumn and walking shall continue to be at the heart of my conference.
As the term finished, the school vicar gave a sermon to my Year 6 leavers about pilgrimage and the journey of life. He gifted them all a scallop shell as a reminder of their journey through primary school (the scallop shell is the symbol of our patron saint). A few days later, I was swimming in the sea in Cornwall (feeling totally liberated), when I spotted a scallop shell on the sea bed. It was quite tricky to recover, but my theoretical reading taught me that messy and problematic challenges are the most transformative so I persevered. Once home, I was looking for a longer walk to undertake as part of a personal expansion of this module and found the Cuckmere Pilgrim Path (for which the symbol is the scallop shell) – which is in Eastbourne, where I was born and lived as a child (a familiar but liminal landscape). I have wanted to write about rivers. Then I found that the writer in residence on the pilgrim path has written a pamphlet of poems entitled ‘Self Portrait as Scallop Shell.’ Thinking this was all a sign, seeing as I am haunted by symbols (thanks Jung), I googled scallop shell. It transpires the scallop shell is not only a symbol of pilgrimage but also transformation and rebirth. It seems to dream of shells, which portray the entrance to the cavern or treasure chamber, is to be summoned to make a journey which is always charged with positive properties. Maybe now that I have almost finished winding Blake’s golden string, I am being summoned by shells instead – from another liminal space, the shoreline.
