Transformation doesn’t happen when things are comfortable, you have to be a bit lost or out of your comfort zone. You have to go through the liminal, swampy (Schon, 1984) lowlands to be transformed.
The journey through is not straight froward, clear or linear. You have to become a wayfarer and find a path through the sediment. It is muddy, rhizomatic and full of dead ends (didn’t get anywhere with frottage, not using videos and brusho is not for me).
I’ve often been stuck, made many mistakes and failed. I’ve regularly not known what I am doing or where to go next, not just on the journey of finding my practice but also my actual walks. I vividly recall the path not presenting what the guide told me, having to retrace myself in the blistering mid day sun and feeling very agitated about what to do because from now on I was just following my gut. These risky bits, where you’re walking off the edge and into the unknown are crucial. This is where you become automatic, let go of preconceived ideas and listen to your intuition.
I’ve had to learn to lean into the unexpected, to enjoy the experiments and learn from each layer of development. I’ve had magical, critical, moments where I have pulled a print and it has been incredible and I have surprised myself with my potential. I’ve seen myself in the eyes of others – looking up to see my 14 year old daughter as impressed with my results as I am!
I’ve had to learn to embrace the rhizomatic nature of my path, the constant back tracking, repeating, going in circles. I’ve had to follow my intuition more actively, although it took me most of the module and almost all of the year to get this! The critical reflections and wider reading have helped significantly with understanding it all.
Now I know the liminal lands are not to be feared but embraced. Leap off the edge instead of tip toeing with trepidation. The intermezzo is the exciting bit where there are discoveries to be made. (Deleuze and Guattari, 2013)
‘Growing and reformulating our self-definition becomes a dangerous act. It is the act of transformation’ (Gould, p. 25).
‘As in life, what matters is not the final destination, but all the interesting things that occur along the way’ (Ingold, 2016, p.174).