I am beginning to realise that taking risks is a crucial element of being an artist. Experimenting, stepping outside my comfort zone, and doing things that make me feel slightly uncomfortable often bring moments of true creativity. Things do not always work out as I expect, and I am learning to sit with the feelings associated with my own perception of failure. But I am also discovering that, after the frustration and disappointment, there are valuable lessons to be learned, insights that allow me to grow and improve. I often find myself reflecting that risk-taking is unavoidable when entering a liminal space. I was reminded of this when my four-year-old son informed me on a recent walk that, “You can’t go over it, you have to go through it.” I suppose trying to find myself as an artist (or perhaps even more profoundly, as a person) is a lot like a bear hunt.
I struggle with trying new mediums, techniques and generally experimenting because of how often things go wrong. I am trying to lean into this, in fact I am wondering if a future project might involve sharing all of the ones that have ‘gone wrong’ rather than the polished pieces. Someone I admire recently told me that there is beauty in the raw, unpolished pieces of artwork I create and maybe she’s onto something!
In a recent MA session, I found myself sketching an ice berg and thinking about how we only ever show a small part of ourselves – the tip of the ice berg. Maybe all of the raw and unpolished pieces reflect the rest of the iceberg below the water – maybe they are a mirror to my true self?
I am going to read a beautiful book about Jean Dubuffet’s work and push myself to experiment with different mediums and techniques.
